The Oxford English dictionary has a number of definitions of training. Two in particular stand out: “Discipline and instruction (given or received) for development of character, behaviour, or ability; education, rearing, bringing up” and “Sustained instruction and practice (given or received) in an art, profession, occupation, or procedure, with a view to proficiency in it.” In the BDSM community it means something a bit different – http://www.novad.org/Primer/Definitions.html defines it as “Any of many disciplines wherein the Dom and sub act together to modify the sub’s behavior, condition, and/or attitude.”
In choosing a metaphor to describe the kind of relationship I wanted to create with those whom I work with, training seemed to most accurately convey what I wanted. It’s a carefully negotiated, comprehensive relationship between me and a client that combines elements of tutoring, advising, mentorship, and teaching but at the same time is more than the sum of its parts.
I recognize that my choice of the word training here is controversial. One listing of kinky professionals refused to list my website under the name “training” for fear that it would be misunderstood as sex work. Others questioned whether the kind of relationship I envisioned could have the proper professional boundaries, and whether it might violate basic ethical principles. In the three years since I’ve started this website, I’ve worked with a number of clients – some just for a session, others for years – and I’ve learned a lot about what does and doesn’t work – and a lot about how to differentiate fantasy from reality while at the same time being able to use elements of both in a creative and productive fashion.
Please see the sidebar of this site for my contact information.